goodbye bullet

Since my last update post on Bullet, so many things happened.

The short version is he had good days, and bad days where he drooled incessantly, jerking around when we held him, wouldn't eat/drink/go to the bathroom or sometimes keep it down, walked the perimeter of the room and ran into things, didn't respond to us. When we couldn't remember the last good day he had, we took him to the vet. She wanted to run many tests, tests we couldn't afford and pump him full of drugs.

After that last visit to the vet close to us, he improved. But not for long. After a particularly bad couple days, we had to do something, especially since we witnessed potential seizure activity. We talked to friends that had dogs and decided to take him to their vet...a holistic vet.

He confirmed the seizures...in fact, he was having one as he examined him. I cried like a big baby. The vet tested his blood sugar, thinking that was the cause for his seizures. It was, and we went away that day with a diet plan heavy on people food to boost nutrients.

We changed his diet and took care of our intensive care puppy faithfully...and praise the Lord he was better! He was still sick, in hindsight, but not as symptomatic as before. We fully enjoyed and appreciated every single minute he wasn't suffering, but knew in the back of our minds that he could relapse. It happened before, and it could happen again. Just as I was about to write his 4 month old update post, the diet stopped working and he started to go downhill.

Just as I was about to write his 4 month old update post, the diet stopped working and he started to go downhill.  We were devastated, readers. So sad that all our hard work was only a temporary solution. It was a possibity, but we hoped and prayed he'd be healed and live a full life.

Fast forward a week to this Thursday and he was so sick we could barely look at him without feeling his pain. Mom took him to the vet in the afternoon and our last ditch effort was to try an anti-seizure meds. Needless to say, it didn't work. Another dose yesterday morning and two full blown seizures later (whole body shaking) and we knew. We knew were out of options and had to think of Bullet and his lack of quality of life if we didn't do something.

So yesterday, we made the desicsion to put Bullet to sleep. His suffering outweighed our selfish, human desire of wanting him to stay here with us.

And today? Today we buried sweet Mr. B under the willow tree in his favorite green blanket. Dandielions were placed on the grave in honor of him because those were his favorite to eat whilst outside frolicking in the sun. We're keeping his favorite turtle, but giving away his other toys to his girlfriend, Daisy. (the Furlough's beagle).

All photos are in chronological order, this being the best and last photo I took of him.
Prayers would be so appreciated. Right now tears are streaming down my face as I type this because I know I'll never hear him bark again, never see his tail wag, never play tug-of-war over Mr. Turtle, and never lay him on his back over my legs and sing to him. He's not suffering anymore, but that doesn't erase the hole in our hearts. Time will take care of it, but for now I cry whenever I look at pictures of him on my phone or see his unused food bowls and a bag full of his toys.

I truly hope your Saturday was better than mine, readers. 

p.s I know Bullet was only a dog, but he was truly part of the family. We loved him so much and the physical hurt we felt when he was buried let me know my love for him was real and I would miss him so much. I really think this is part of my healing process...talking about him and his days with us, whether they are good or bad.

p.s.s Posting was sporadic this week and I apologize. I'll be back next week.


  1. Sarah, I am so sorry to hear that. I teared up reading this. I can definitely relate to that utterly sad feeling when you lose a dear pet. I have had a series of hamsters and we also have had a dog before. Giving you a big virtual hug.

    Praying for you, girl!

  2. i'm so sorry dear!
    i'll definitely be praying for you & your family.
    i can only imagine how hard this must be on you...
    keep your chin up though! xox

  3. So, so, so sorry Sarah-Anne! My heart breaks for you. We went through much of the same... :'(

    You and your family are in my prayers.

  4. I can't imagine the pain you all are feeling. My cats are extremely dear to me, and I dread the day that is their last.
    I will pray for you and your family through this hard time and healing process. One of our cats has been through a few very traumatic months, and I am so thankful she's healing. You're post just makes me more grateful.
    Some pets are so part of the family - just because he's an animal doesn't mean he couldn't mean the world to you... I know. It does not sound silly to me.
    Thank you for sharing, putting your heart out there takes guts sometimes.

  5. My heart goes out to you, Sarah! That is so sad and I know you and your family must be going through a lot of pain at the moment, but just put your trust in God and he'll see you through to the end of it.
    I'll be praying for you!
    Holly xo

  6. Oh mannn, I'm so sorry!!! The thoughts of the day when my dog died make me not want to go on. Time will heal!

  7. I am praying for you and your family! Pets aren't 'just pets', they become part of the family, and it tears your heart out when you have to say good-bye. I am so sorry that you have to go through this, and like Meredith said, I'm giving you a virtual hug now... I only wish we were closer so I could give you a real hug!


  8. aw i'm sorry. we had to put out cat down a couple of years ago--it was so hard to do. we still her miss her. praying for you :)

  9. Sarah-Anne, I am so sorry. We had a similar experience with one of our dogs once and I know how painful it can be. Pets do become a part of our family, and Bullet looked like a very special member.

    Praying for you and your family. <3

  10. I am so saddened to hear of your loss!! I can only imagine how tough it must be. My thought and prayers are with you and your family.

  11. Loosing a pet is hard. We lost our cat after 17 years, and it was very hard. Praying for you and your family.


  12. Hey Sarah-Anne :)

    I don't think I've ever commented on here before, but I just wanted you to know that I read every post without fail :)
    I love your blog!!

    I'm really, really sorry to hear about Bullet.
    We've never had to put a pet of ours down, and when the time comes, I know I'll be devastated.

    I'm praying for you girl! I know it's hard...and I know how much you loved him, and how much you miss him.
    He's in a better place, but that still doesn't seem to put peace in our heart, and somehow it just makes the tears come even harder.
    I'm crying for you...

    But just know, we're all on your side, and we're all thinking and praying for you all.

    Hope you feel better soon :)


  13. Saying goodbye to a pet like that IS hard, no doubt about it. I understand, and my heart goes out to you and the rest of your family. Praying for comfort for all of you!

  14. I'm so sorry about Bullet. He seemed like such a good boy. I lost my Charlie dog last year and I still can't think about it too much without getting weepy. The love of a dog is so pure and uncomplicated. It's a huge loss. I'm so sorry.

  15. He was such a cute doggie, reminds me somehow of my grandpa's dog :-) I'm really sorry though, but i'm sure that he will remain in your heart forever. Believe me, thinking that he is a shiny star in a blue clear sky helps a lot...

  16. Sorry I am little late, I have been away and just saw your post! So very sorry for your loss, I too have lost pets and it is so heartbreaking. Family pets have a way of becoming such a sweet part of our lives, you really do get so attached! I just wanted to let tou know you'd be in my prayers tonight. Sending a big hug your way!!!