goodbye bullet

Since my last update post on Bullet, so many things happened.

 

The short version is he had good days, and bad days where he drooled incessantly, jerking around when we held him, wouldn't eat/drink/go to the bathroom or sometimes keep it down, walked the perimeter of the room and ran into things, didn't respond to us. When we couldn't remember the last good day he had, we took him to the vet. She wanted to run many tests, tests we couldn't afford and pump him full of drugs.

After that last visit to the vet close to us, he improved. But not for long. After a particularly bad couple days, we had to do something, especially since we witnessed potential seizure activity. We talked to friends that had dogs and decided to take him to their vet...a holistic vet.

He confirmed the seizures...in fact, he was having one as he examined him. I cried like a big baby. The vet tested his blood sugar, thinking that was the cause for his seizures. It was, and we went away that day with a diet plan heavy on people food to boost nutrients.

We changed his diet and took care of our intensive care puppy faithfully...and praise the Lord he was better! He was still sick, in hindsight, but not as symptomatic as before. We fully enjoyed and appreciated every single minute he wasn't suffering, but knew in the back of our minds that he could relapse. It happened before, and it could happen again. Just as I was about to write his 4 month old update post, the diet stopped working and he started to go downhill.

Just as I was about to write his 4 month old update post, the diet stopped working and he started to go downhill.  We were devastated, readers. So sad that all our hard work was only a temporary solution. It was a possibity, but we hoped and prayed he'd be healed and live a full life.

Fast forward a week to this Thursday and he was so sick we could barely look at him without feeling his pain. Mom took him to the vet in the afternoon and our last ditch effort was to try an anti-seizure meds. Needless to say, it didn't work. Another dose yesterday morning and two full blown seizures later (whole body shaking) and we knew. We knew were out of options and had to think of Bullet and his lack of quality of life if we didn't do something.

So yesterday, we made the desicsion to put Bullet to sleep. His suffering outweighed our selfish, human desire of wanting him to stay here with us.

And today? Today we buried sweet Mr. B under the willow tree in his favorite green blanket. Dandielions were placed on the grave in honor of him because those were his favorite to eat whilst outside frolicking in the sun. We're keeping his favorite turtle, but giving away his other toys to his girlfriend, Daisy. (the Furlough's beagle).

All photos are in chronological order, this being the best and last photo I took of him.

Prayers would be so appreciated. Right now tears are streaming down my face as I type this because I know I'll never hear him bark again, never see his tail wag, never play tug-of-war over Mr. Turtle, and never lay him on his back over my legs and sing to him. He's not suffering anymore, but that doesn't erase the hole in our hearts. Time will take care of it, but for now I cry whenever I look at pictures of him on my phone or see his unused food bowls and a bag full of his toys.

I truly hope your Saturday was better than mine, readers. 

p.s I know Bullet was only a dog, but he was truly part of the family. We loved him so much and the physical hurt we felt when he was buried let me know my love for him was real and I would miss him so much. I really think this is part of my healing process...talking about him and his days with us, whether they are good or bad.


p.s.s Posting was sporadic this week and I apologize. I'll be back next week.